For a while I thought I had a pretty good grasp on what other people thought but then I came to the realization that not everyone thinks like me. You can hear two people explain the same situation and just because they both were there doesn't mean anything. The perception of body language or tone of voice can be so contrasting from person to person. And sometimes I assume what people are thinking by their mannerisms but really all I understand about their thought process is based on how I process things. Of which I have learned is very different compared to others. Now this can be rather annoying because you are always uncertain about what others perception is and you can never completely anticipate what they think. It's something that can become misleading when you jump to conclusions that are probably not true. Then it doesn't help that people can easily lie about what they think, so you have to question if what they say is even true or not. And see maybe you don't suspect for people to lie because you don't, but I know sometimes I do, so I assume others do too, when in fact they might not at all. You see my predicament. This also goes with how differently people interact with other people.
For example, I'm not one to necessarily voice my emotions much or because I know they don't really matter. But I have come to work on this because people need to know how much they are appreciated and see I think they can tell by they way I talk to them and what not, but that's not always the case. Because if I've established a friendship with someone, we're cool, in my mind I don't need to tell them they're great because they probably already know that. But I have come to realize that message isn't always transferred. So what do I do, just tell them flat out. For some this comes very naturally but for me it takes a lot. I feel like I'm telling people what they already know, but really they might not know at all. Or like the habit of saying sorry. With me I feel sorry about things, but if I know I shouldn't feel sorry about them, I won't voice my regrets. Because I know when I do, I'm just looking for a free compliment, like why are you sorry you're the best I love you, sort of stuff, knowing this is how I work, my assumption is that everyone thinks this way. So I get critical of others, but really they could just truly be sincere. But it also goes the same way because some people will think that I don't feel bad about a situation because I didn't apologize when they would have, so they think I don't appreciate them or I'm mean, but really I just didn't voice my apology. Since, that's not how I see things it's hard to relate. So I usually try to figure out who I need to apologize to and who I don't, but since I have no clue what their view is I'm left with no sense of what to do. I hope this makes sense, see it does to me.
Or like how some people are shy and others are more flirty and what not. Well, if you're shy and a flirty person talks to you, both of the perceptions would be contrasting. It's like in pride and prejudice with Jane and Mr. Bingley. Jane didn't even show her true emotions even to her own sister, and Mr. Darcey thought that Mr. Bingley liked her more that she liked him. Obviously not. It's all just so confusing. But also kind of exciting. It always keeps me on my toes. Never assuming but always trying, even though it's hopeless, to figure out the problem. Also, gives you a chance to mess with peoples perception of you. Especially at school, with people I know but will never really get to know very well, I can tell them what ever I want and they have no choice but to believe it. So sometimes I will tell people thing that just throw them off and it's funny, to me. I don't know, makes my life more interesting, and frankly I just get bored. That or joking around with people, not everyone has the same sense of humor as me, so half the time I come of as a jerk, but I didn't mean it. Does this mean I should stop making jokes in fear that I might hurt someones feelings, because they took it the wrong way. Or is my humor sincere to my personality and their opinion of me doesn't matter. I couldn't tell you, just a thought.
Then here is a biggie and I'm kind of scared to say it but in my support I'm pretty sure that the people, if any, who take the time to read this will understand, so I'm just going to say it. My view of posting things about God and the Bible on facebook is very different from others. From my understanding my relationship with God is between He and I, that's it. I also know that if I ever post about God, I am not mature enough to do it without corrupt motives. I know my goal would be in glorifying myself, by proclaiming to everyone I read my Bible that morning, or just that I am so spiritual and what not. So that is what goes through my head. I have a view that I really don't have to post on facebook to prove how my relationship with God is going and how 'spiritually mature' I am, because it's not about status (on facebook, skidding). I know that and the only person I need care about is God. I don't need to prove myself to anyone and especially not through stupid facebook and let them all know that I am super spiritual, I think you get the point. Now at first when I saw other people doing this I thought they saw it exactly how I did and I would become critical. But honestly I guess some people really are sincere and get excited and don't think anything of it. Then I think what if people suppose I'm backsliding or a 'bad christian' or something because I don't post a Bible verse everyday. To that I say, none of your business, just kidding, it's more like I don't care. But trust me I have thought about it a lot, unfortunately. So tell me what you think ;)
I honestly could go like how people interpert music differently, blah blah blah but I got stuff to do, not really. But this has just been on my mind. I think for the rest of my days I will just listen to music and walk, two of my favorite things to do. Happy Sunday.
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